Inexplicable rage....

So let's go over the disclaimer for a minute and pay very close attention because I've been pissed off so the odds of me offending the masses have increased exponentially. If you are easily butt hurt, if your panties are in a bunch as soon as you put them on, if you can't take any kind of criticism even if it's not directed at you, if you get upset when someone says something bad about your religious, political, or general beliefs, if you don't appreciate the semi-god like versatility of the word fuck, if you don't like the word "cunt" (in or out of quotations), or if you don't like derogatory references of any kind do me a favor and hit the fucking back button now and save yourself the heart burn. For everyone else, this is just a rant, nothing poignant, just a rant because I'm inexplicably pissed the fuck off lately and if I don't rant and fucking rave somewhere I'm going to lose my fucking mind, go bachmann fucking crazy, and potentially end up in a bell tower with a high powered maxed the fuck out paintball gun. Surprised? Well then you've never been shot with a paint ball gun because it fucking hurts and it's sometimes a little fucking funny to watch someone wither in pain when struck by something that in all actuality will only leave a fucking bruise, but anyway, I digress.

For some unknown reason I've been really fucking pissed off in general lately. If I knew why I would remedy the situation. Now would be the time for me to warn my religious readers that the first person that says, "You'll find peace when you accept God/Allah/Yahweh/Santa Clause/other make believe shit" I'll punch you in the dick so fucking hard you won't need a fucking sex change. I'm just fucking pissed off at the world and life in general.

Here are some things that have truly set me off lately.

The Occupy Wall Street fiasco. Why are we protecting the worthless pieces of shit that are bleeding our country dry but macing, beating, and arresting those who are utilizing their 1st fucking Amendment rights to protest a grievance? What the fuck? I bet, I'd put money on the fact, I'd put my left nut on the fact that if they were protesting something to do with 2nd Amendment rights that we wouldn't be fucking with them nearly as much. I went to war to protect shit like this. I don't agree with a lot of things people protest about, especially when they protest anything to do with the troops. HOWEVER, I would lay down my fucking life to protect their ability to do so. Yet some people are straight up fucking worthless so fuck them. This pisses me off and it should piss you off too..

The DADT Repeal and the introduction to repeal DOMA. HEY FUCKERS! People are gay. Pole smoking, pillow biting, ass bandit, carpet munching, kiss in fucking public to make you cringe fucking gay. Why do you give a shit? What fucking difference does it make if they batting for the same team? The truth is it doesn't. If it upsets you that much move somewhere fucking else. This country is based on a premise of equality. If you are one of those fucking document twisting douche bags that says that's not what our founding fathers meant. Well this is what I say to you. If they meant that all white hetero sexual men and only men were created equal and everyone else didn't count then I think that maybe, just fucking maybe, they were smart enough to write exactly that. But they didn't. The wrote that;

 "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equally, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." 

It's that fucking simple. In the most pure form of interpretations "all men" refers to all man kind, "their Creator" means who ever they believed created them. If you read it any other way you're fucked in the head. What's fucked up is that in the past 100 years we have raised the level of equality to include women and all races, yet you don't want to include someone because they like members of the same sex. What the fuck? You may have a foot fetish or like to get golden showers, but I don't fucking hold that shit against you so get fucking bent bitch and let's make every-fucking-one of our people in this fucked up country of ours equal. Because it makes sense. This shit pisses me off and it should piss you off too...

Fucking breast cancer. Jesus Howard Christ there is enough money going into breast cancer research that not only should the shit be fucking eradicated but every man woman and child should have a perfect set of tits to fucking play with. Holy fucking shit, there are more charities raising money for breast cancer than I can think of. What about all the other shit that's killing people? What about brain aneurysm, ALD, blood disorders, and the plethora of other shit whether man made or natural that's dropping people at the cyclic rate. You rarely even hear about AIDS any more. Seriously WTF? Don't get me wrong I'm all about saving the tata's because boobies make me and just about everyone else around the world happy but there is still so much more out there. So why the fuck is Susan G. Koman, Amy's Blend, Breast Bonanza and all the other pink ribbon shit getting the most attention? What about ball cancer? You don't see any ribbons out there with catchy slogans like "Save the boulders" out there. I don't get it and it's pissing me off and it should probably piss you off too...

People that refuse to pay attention when they drive. If it is illegal for us to go out and get shit faced fucking drunk and get behind the wheel then it should be illegal for people to talk on cell phones, text, put on make up, receive fellatio, give fellatio, read a fucking book or newspaper, steer with their feet, or anything that truly distracts people from driving like a sane human fucking being. We all have out moments of retardation behind the wheel, I understand that, but doing anything that distracts us from driving increases those instances of retardation exponentially. You might as well attempt to lick your fucking windshield while driving, at least then I'll be able to immediately see you've ingested too many lead paint chips and to avoid you at all costs. 

People that don't mind their own god damned fucking business. If I wanted your fucking opinion in the fucking store I would fucking ask you for it. However, approaching someone that you don't know and criticizing them for any fucking reason it just plain stupid. If you're the PTA Holier than Now mom who pulls this shit let me tell you what you are. A fucking Cunt. Not only are you a fucking cunt but every time you fucking speak all the world can here is the distinct sound of a queef. Just because you think you're better than everyone else because your husband is out making six figures and you drive a Lexus and don't have to fucking work doesn't mean you are any better than the rest of us trying to get by on a daily basis. Let me tell you something. The reason your husband always works so fucking late is because he is banging his 20-something secretary and going out to drink before he comes home so he can deal with your queef spewing fucking cunt mouth without trying to suck start a shotgun when he walks through the fucking door. You, nor anyone else for that matter, has a right to judge anyone because of what they look like. And if you do, keep it to your fucking self. People like this piss me off and if they don't piss you off you are much more tolerant than I...

Fuck... I'm gonna stop for now I think, there's plenty more but at the moment, in order to hang onto the sliver of sanity I just need to stop.

I'll leave you with a quote from Tim Minchin that seems appropriate...

"And if perchance I have offended,

Think but this and all is mended;

We'd as well be 10 minutes back in time,

For all the chance you'll change your mind."

Your pissed off neighborhood baby killer.

The Senator