Breath of Life

            My lungs deflated almost instantly as the cool sweet air was sucked from them, as if I accidentally stepped into a vacuum. It felt as if my insides had been hurled against the front of my body like a child would throw silly putty against a wall; just to see if it would stick. The beating in my chest felt irregular like walking in a pair of shoes that have different sized soles. Then I was engulfed in heat, I felt the blood rush to the surface of my skin as the temperature around me increased so rapidly. My eyes closed as I saw the bright orange and white flash head towards me at astounding speed.

            Her golden curls framed an innocent face with sparkling eyes and a mischievous grin, as she looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was looking. I smiled as she pulled her little hand out of the candy drawer grasping a small bag of M&M’s. Her grin widened and she looked up to me through eyelashes that most women would kill for. I wondered, would I ever see that look of feigned innocence again.

            The fire that had surrounded me faded to warmth as sweat slid from underneath my Kevlar helmet. Smoke had replaced the flames and the acrid smell was only tolerable because the taste in my mouth was even worse. It was impossible to take a breath, I tried to suck the air in yet nothing happened. My heart raced; it felt as if there hadn’t been air in my lungs for an eternity. Then the air didn’t seem as important as my body was thrown into the hard three quarter inch armor of the tan Hummer I once stood next to. The impact was horrendous. The muscle surrounding my shoulder was strained as the bone attempted to rip through it as it collided with the impenetrable steel. It was as if I had upset a God sitting on Mt Olympia and my punishment was occupying the same space as a sheet of Pittsburgh’s finest. My head slammed the inside of my Kevlar as it hit the armor of the hummer; I heard the distinct crack of something breaking. Only I wasn’t sure if it was my skull or the Kevlar itself. My vision became unfocused either from the strike to the head or the lack of oxygen in my blood.

            I blinked the haze from my eyes as I looked down to her. Tears were streaming down her face, her cheeks glistened and her bottom lip quivered as she said, “Daddy, please don’t leave, I want you to stay home.” By some miracle I heard a steady voice say, “Baby, Daddy will be home safe and sound before you know it, I promise.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and as I leaned down to kiss her head I could smell the sweet strawberries in her dark brown hair. I hoped that I wouldn’t break that promise.

My lungs felt as if they would burst if I didn’t take a breath soon, I opened my mouth to suck the air in. Before I could inhale that soft touch of sanity, the sound came. The rumble was low and nauseating but it was the loud clap that shook every fiber of my being. It was that sound that forced me to close my mouth, grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut. As if by closing it all off the excruciating pain in my ears would somehow magically come to an end. A ringing reverberated through my head, back and forth from ear to ear. Then the ringing became a high pitched buzz as I felt a strong breeze filled with dust and sand scrape across my face. Once again I tried to breathe, I needed air desperately, but before I could completely open myself up to her sweet embrace my body once again slammed into something hard and unforgiving. White specks of light lingered in my peripheral vision as my organs bounced around inside me like a racquet ball. My mind felt numb and my body felt limp. The light around me faded out ever so slowly.

Her soft lips caressed mine and I could taste the salt from the tears she had shed. She whispered, “I love you.” My rifle felt cold in my hand as I turned to leave. I forgot to tell her that I love her. I had to make it home to tell her how much I love her.

Without warning the air flooded back into my lungs, the heat searing my mouth and throat. Yet I laughed, the pain sending shivers through every muscle in my body, but I laughed. Euphoria swam through my veins as that first breath filled my lungs. I could still breathe. I could still see innocence, keep a promise and express my love. I could still breathe.

Copyright by the Author 2007-2011. Reprinting is expressly prohibited without written permission of the author, Cory Will.